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Random Thoughts
By Underfaker
Wow, been quite the hectic time around here, hasn’t
it? ToT was shutdown for a bit, files got lost and now
Ms. Meri is back in action. So I have decided to write
an editorial to commemorate the return of Temple O’
Trunks to the internet landscape.
This is a format that has existed for a long time for
us people that write columns like this. It allows you
to cover a variety of subjects in one writing. Pretty
nifty, eh? So now I present to you...Random Thoughts.
-My DBZ toy collection is steadily growing by leaps
and bounds. My sister bought me almost all of series
7 (the one with the weapons and Dragonballs) and quite
a few figures from other series. My collection now has
Piccolo, SSJ Goku, SSJ Gohan, SSJ Vegetto, Frieza (Form
4), Chibi Trunks and a figure that is Krillin with hair.
These toys are pretty cool in my opinion. However, the
point of this Thought was the names of two characters
had been changed. “Buu” has now become “Boo”
and “Mr. Satan” has become “Mr.Savage”.
The Satan/Savage thing I expected because mothers in
America weren’t about to allow their children to
buy a figure called “Mr. Satan”. I don’t
quite get the Buu/Boo change, unless it makes it easier
on the kids to spell. Or something.
-My new favorite villain in all of DBZ is Broly. Simply
because, this man is ONE BAD MOFO. You do not f*ck with
Broly. I watched Movie 8 again, when the Z-Team first
faced Broly. This guy beat the living hell out of our
heroes for 25 FRIGGIN’ MINUTES. It didn’t
matter who you were. Piccolo, SSJ Goku, SSJ Vegeta,
SSJ Gohan or SSJ Trunks. He took all of them on and
then ripped them apart. Granted, he maynot be the most
intelligent villain but he became my favorite with a
few simple words- “Monster? I am no monster. I
am the Devil.” My friends, you can not buy material
like that. Has there ever been a villain in DBZ that
gave these people that much damn trouble? At least with
Buu there was Gotenks and Vegetto or the Spirit Bomb.
No one could stop Broly. Goku tried his little KameHameHa
trick. Broly took it right on the chin and then knocked
Goku around like his bitch. Gohan got thrown through
a few buildings, Trunks met a subway rail head on, Vegeta
got FUBAR as did Piccolo and Goku. And it took all of
them to give Goku enough energy to punch through Broly.
I eagerly await the day when I see the movie where Broly
comes back, but not as the Refugee From Swamp Thing.
-Does anyone remember that one scene when Piccolo blasts
Nappa and Nappa yells, “You rat! How dare you shoot
me in the back!” and Piccolo replies with, “Oh,
I am sorry...I thought that was your face!”, then
Vegeta laughs like a maniac. That quote would have been
50 times better if Piccolo had shot Nappa in the ass.
Think about it.
-Does anyone out there need MP3’s for music videos?
I’d gladly supply somebody with some songs just
to use some decent music, but I'm more partial to classic
rock songs. In fact, the top 10 songs I'd like to hear
in a music video are-
1. “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC
2. “Mama, I’m Coming Home” by Ozzy Osbourne
3. “Voodoo Child (Slight Return)” by Jimi
Hendrix
4. “Little Wing” by Stevie Ray Vaughn
5. “Thunder Kiss ‘65” by White Zombie
6. “The Thing I Hate” by Stabbing Westward
7. “Evenflow” by Pearl Jam
8. “Epic” by Faith No More
9. “I Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My
Condition Was In” by Kenny Rodgers and the First
Edition
10. “I Love It Loud” by KISS
Can anyone help me out here?
-To you Subbie freaks out there, I've gotta say this.
I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES. You just had to
keep pissing and moaning about how bad “Rock the
Dragon” was...and you just wouldn’t be happy
until you got more screwed up then you already were.
See, us dubbies were happy with “Rock the Dragon”,
but the subbie fanatics had to keep complaining. So
what does FUNimation do? They give us A HORRIBLE THEME
SONG. A horrible theme song that we didn’t need
because WE WERE HAPPY WITH ROCK THE DRAGON! So now you
morons have messed it up for the rest of us and I just
hope you are happy with yourselves.
-Alright, am I the only one who is thinking that the
DVD Subbed DBZ is NOT going to live up to the hype?
Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. Personally, I've
been looking forward to this DVD, simply to see what
15 million people have told me I am missing. Some people
have been calling it deliverance from the stupidity
of FUNimation, but let me ask you this: How many episodes
are going to be on YOUR new Bible? Is the DVD just going
to do Season 1 of the American version? Will some episodes
be left out because FUNimation can? Do you honestly
think that this DVD is going to instantly have every
single episode of DBZ up until the end of Majin Buu?
I’ve just got a bad feeling about all of this and
I hope I am wrong. You just have to remember, anything
that can go wrong WILL go wrong. For that matter, will
the movies be moved to yet another DVD format?
-To further explain a compliment that I made in “Response
to Vegetto EX’s Column”, maybe Goku said everything
to be sarcastic. Since he was so much more powerful
than the other guys were, maybe he could afford to be
an asshole.
-If you have not bought the first tape of Garlic Jr.
Saga- Black Water Mist, then you do not know what you
are missing. It has some of the funniest damn dialogue
I have ever heard, including another quote that I am
adding to my personal favorites, “I HOPE YOU LIKE
BLACK AND BLUE BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA BE WEARING IT FOR
A WHILE!!!”. The epic battle between ChiChi and
Marron is funny as hell and a quick banter between Krillin
and Master Roshi, when Krillin becomes worried about
Marron’s safety, is priceless. (Krillin- “Darling!’;
Master Roshi- “Right here sweetie!”)
-You know, stupidity between webmasters and FUNimation
seem to be a two-way street. Take for instance a comment
from Planetnamek.com, that tells the people to “not
buy the dubbed, wait for the subbed DVD. Maybe this
will show FUNimation that more people want the subbed!”.
I explained this before in an earlier column that FUNimation
does not need you to buy their tapes to get money. I’m
sure the people at Planetnamek.com are going to tune
in to Dragonball Z on Cartoon Network as sure as I am.
And when they do, their viewership is translated into
ratings. Higher ratings mean that the show can force
advertisers to pay more money to allow their commercials
to run during DBZ. So in the long run FUNimation still
makes money! You can’t stop them! They want MONEY,
not feedback for people wanting subbed instead of dubbed.
-Ever heard of the saying that sometimes you have to
beat something into someone’s head to make them
understand? I was reading DBZ: Uncensored today...a
very good site that tells the difference between Japanese
and American DBZ episodes. And one of the webmaster’s
pet peeves was that when Vegeta and Nappa destroyed
things, it never said they killed anyone. You know...
“Fortunately that section of the city was abandoned.”
Or “They got the cargo robot!”, and this person
was in a rage about it! Anyway, back to the first sentence,
someone that recaps wrestling shows named Scott Keith
(a certifiable genius, by the way) created a neat tool
for describing the situation of WCW. I think this tool
can be applied to the hatred of people when FUNimation
edited out the killing of people. It’s called “The
DBZ Sledgehammer of Plot”. Simply put, if they
don’t think you get something, they’ll hammer
the plot into you. In the Japanese version, they felt
the need to tell people that Vegeta and Nappa were evil,
in case anybody was too stupid not to get it. So they
used “The DBZ Sledgehammer of Plot” to hammer
the fact home that the Saiya-Jin were evil by having
them kill a lot of innocent people. People, we KNOW
that Nappa and Vegeta are evil. We were told they were
evil and we BELIEVE it. We don’t need them to kill
a few thousand people to reinterate that fact! We don’t
need to see them evaporate a few cities just to know
that they ARE BAD MEN. The same can be applied for Frieza
saga and when he kills all the Nameks. We know that
Frieza is evil, we don’t need to see his minions
destroying them and their children. But no, some people
feel that this needs to be hammered into our heads because
we can take the subtle hint that the bad guys are BAD
GUYS. Hell, Japanese DBZ wouldn’t know subtle if
a man ran through the streets with a flamethrower, setting
Japan on fire, wearing a shirt that reads “Mr.
Subtle” and screaming at the top of his lungs,
“MY NAME IS MR. SUBTLE AND I AM NOT BEING VERY
SUBTLE RIGHT NOW!” And you know its true.
I reckon that will do it for now...tune in next time
when I write more and you continue to read it. Until
then, keep reading ToT and give Ms. Meri more hits!The
Super Texa-Jin,
Jonathan “Underfaker” Lindsey
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