The Second Sequel to Freiza Beans: ((Freiza Beans 3))
((By Steve Golebiewski- written 12/9/99))
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Narrator from DBZ: Last time on Freiza Beans... The Ginyuu Force is on a quest to retrieve
the Dragon Balls in order to make Freiza not a cannibal, Trunks and ChiChi were brought on
the 'Jerry Springer Show' to speak about cannibalism, Ginyuu switched bodies with the
yellow teletubby Lala, Freiza ate Guldo, Ecoostik is wanted by the California police for
casting curses without a license, and Bulma is seeking help for her 'Freiza Bean'
obsession... This is where we left off, and now presenting, "THE SECOND SEQUEL TO
FREIZA BEANS!"
((Really crappy guitar music starts playing, the title "THE SECOND SEQUEL TO FREIZA
BEANS" is displayed on the screen))
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Bulma stares at the beans, drooling, eyes widened.
"...Bulma?" asks Dr. Gero. At that instant, Bulma leaps onto the table and
scarfs down the Freiza Beans like a rabid pig. "No, Bulma! Nooooooooo!" moans
Dr. Gero as he tries to over-power Bulma. Bulma slaps Gero away, sending him flying into
the wall. 16, 17, and 18 run and dog pile Bulma. They pin Bulma to the ground, 16 injects
a tranquilizer into Bulma, but she amazingly thrusts them all off and shoves the beans
into her mouth.
"More tranquilizers! MORE TRANQUILIZERS!" Yells out 17, keeping his distance
from Bulma. 18 opens up a hidden case in the room and pulls out a six-barreled magnum with
all the chambers filled with tranquilizers. She's tosses 16 and 17 a magnum, and they all
aim for Bulma.
"FREIZA BEANS!!!!!" yells out Bulma, shoving the beans down her throat. About
ten tranquilizers stick into her body. She foams from the mouth and roars at all the
androids.
"It's not working!" yells out Dr.Gero in fear, sheilding himself. After Bulma
finishes the can she roars and waves her hands in the air, somewhat pissed about all the
tranquilizers stuck in her. 16 rolls across the ground and fires two tranquilizers in her
thigh, no effect. She slashes 16, then 17 fires two tranquilizers in her shoulder. Bulma
begins to wobble a bit, then 18 fires six consecutive rounds of tranquilizers into her
back.
"...Oooohh... Crrrrraaaaappp..." says Bulma in a slow motion, dazed voice as she
looks at all the tranquilizers stuck in her. Her eyes roll back, and she collapses to the
ground. 16 staggers up and looks at the slash wound in his side.
"...She is not a human engineer..." says 16, looking at Bulma, "She's a
monster!"
"So I've noticed." says Dr.Gero, getting up and brushing the dust off his lab
coat. "We'll have to contain her. At this point healing her is impossible. Put her in
the holding silo." commands Dr, Gero. 17 and 18 lifts Bulma up from under the arms
and drag her out of the room. Gero watches as they drag her off. "...Should she be
released, it is the end of humanity as we know it..." he says, his eyes glistening.
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((Meanwhile, on the planet Namek...))
Jeice walks around on planet Namek, looking from side to side for
Dragon Balls.
"Alright now, where could the Dragon Ball be?" asks Jeice to himself. His eye
catches a small Namek village. "Bingo!" he shouts out, then he dashes off and
flies for the village.
All the Nameks in the village are doing chores, whether it be
gardening, painting a house, or at least doing something productive. Jeice flies in and
lands in the center of the village, all the nameks turn and look to him confused.
"What do you want?" demands a namek painting a house.
"...I need the Dragon Balls! Gimmie gimmie gimmie!" says Jeice, grubbing his
hands expecting them to hand over any Dragon Balls. The nameks stare at him, then begin
bursting out in laughter. Jeice eyes all of them. "...Hey, what so funny?"
"You moron! In the second season of DBZ, all the namek villages were destroyed by
Freiza! In fact, this whole planet dosen't exsist! We should all be dead!! AH ha ha ha
haaaa!" laughs a namek, going hysterical. All the nameks and Jeice stare at him, very
confused.
"Uhh... what're you talking about? What's DBZ?" asks another namek. The namek
that was going hysterical calms down and looks at all of them.
"...You know... DBZ, the japanese animation show..." he says, trying to explain
himself. They all still look confused. "...Come on, everyone knows what DBZ is. Just
like DB, and DBGT... You know... It's an ongoing series that ended with..."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" demands another namek.
"I'm telling you! Freiza destroyed the planet namek! Then Trunks came and killed him,
then the androids came, then Buu came, then... hey, that reminds me..." says the
crazy namek. He gets close to Jeice and points a finger at him. "You're supposed to
be dead... Vegita killed you!"
"...Uhh..." says Jeice, his eyes wandering.
"Okay, I think you've been sniffing the magical powder again..." says another
namek, then two strong nameks grab the crazy namek and carry him off.
"NO! Listen to me! DBZ is a real show! There are people watching us right now!
THEY'RE ALL WATCHING!!!" rants the namek. They all stare at him for a while, then get
back to their conversation.
"Now, uhh... oh yeah! Gimmie gimmie gimmie!" whines Jeice, expecting the Dragon
Balls.
"Sorry, we're fresh out. Now I'll have to ask you to leave, and come again."
says a namek elder, impersonating a 7-11 clerk.
"...Crapcakes... Hm, oh well..." says Jeice beginning to walk off. Then it
clicks in his head. "Hey... wait a minute..." Jeice begins to think long and
hard. He remembers from his Scouter transmission a long time ago from when Vegita and
Nappa fought the earthlings for the first time. He remembers when Nappa made an analogy
about Nameks and the Dragon Balls.
"Oh I get it. So if this chicken dosen't give us the dragon ball, we'll just go to
the coop and get more, like the chicken who laid the golden eggs." said Nappa. Then
Jeice turns around and picks up the elder.
"Huh? What're you doing?" asks the elder, being carried off by Jeice. Jeice goes
into a room, sets down a pile of straw and sits the elder down on it.
"All right, now I KNOW you nameks have the power to make Dragon Balls... Now LAY THEM
GOLDEN EGGS!"
"...Golden... eggs?" asks the elder, totally confused.
"That's right, lay the Dragon Balls... Just like the hen who lays the golden
eggs!" says Jeice. He stares into the elders eyes, waiting for him to lay a Dragon
Ball.
"...Um, I think you are..."
"JUST LAY 'EM! Don't make me feed you fertility drugs!" yells Jeice, still
staring in the elder's eyes.
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((Back on the "Jerry Springer Show"))
"Welcome everyone, back to our topic," says Jerry, "We
have Trunks father and sister with us. Please welcome Vegita and Bra!" he says.
Vegita and Bra walk out and everyone cheers, They have a seat next to Trunks and ChiChi.
"Welcome to the show guys."
"...Whatever." Says Vegita, his eyes wandering. Bra fiddles with her fingers.
"Now, Vegita, are you aware that your son ate Goten?" asks Jerry.
"Yeah, I kinda figured it out when I was digging through his underwear draw."
says Vegita, leering at Trunks. The whole audience gives a long "oooooooh",
knowing that Trunks is in trouble. "Trunks... do you remember when I found the body
parts in your underwear draw?"
"...Yeah..." mutters Trunks.
"And what did you say they were?"
"...I said they were cat food..." mutters Trunks again. The whole audeince boo's
at Trunks.
"YOU *bleep**bleep*!" screams ChiChi. She rips off a leg of her chair and begins
to beat Trunks with it. The whole audience cheers.
"JE-RRY! JE-RRY!" chants the audience.
"AAH! The scary lady's killing Trunks!" wails Bra. Vegita gets up and restrains
ChiChi, then they all get back to their seats. Vegita gets out of his seat and walks to
Trunks.
"What's wrong with you, boy?! I taught you better than to be eatin' body parts!"
yells Vegita to Trunks.
"Oh, like you never ate body parts when you were a kid!" retorts Trunks.
"Oh sure! I did it all when I was your age! I was sniffing namek powder, I was
smoking arlian weed, you name it! But never, NEVER was I messed up enough to eat body
parts!" yells Vegita. The whole audience begins clapping for Vegita. Vegita takes a
seat, Jerry directs his attention towards Trunks.
"Do you have any comment on that?" asks Jerry. Trunks begins to think.
"Well... I...I only did it because..." thinks Trunks, "Because he malested
me!" The whole audience gasps. Vegita's eyes widen.
"WHAT?!? What the hell are you talking about?" demands Vegita.
"YOU LITTLE MALESTING *bleep*!" yells ChiChi, cracking her chair over Vegita's
head. The whole audience gets in a big cheer for her hurting Vegita. Vegita rubs his head,
Bra laughs.
"Hee hee... Daddy made a funny!" cheers Bra. Bra goes over, picks up a chair,
and cracks it over Vegita's back. Vegita falls, Bra laughs and claps. ChiChi and Bra begin
to beat down Vegita, the audience continues to chant,
"JE-RRY! JE-RRY!"
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((Back at Goku's house...))
Gohan walks in his house with a briefcase, just coming back from work.
He set the briefcase on the table and let out a sigh.
"What a day..." he said. Just then, he heard a crash in his dad's room. He
looked to it and began to walk over to Goku's room. He opened the door and found the room
was pitch black. He flipped the light switch to find a big surpirse. The whole room was
decorated like a religious ceremonial chamber. Candles were hung everywhere on the room
and by the wall there was a statue. The statue was an eight-armed goddess figure, each
hand was holding a can of Freiza Beans. Gohan walked around the room, totally confused.
"What the?..." he said, looking around. Just then, Goku surprised him from
behind.
"DO-YOU-EXCEPT-THE-MIGHTY-FREIZA-BEANS-AS-YOUR-SAVIOR?!?!?!" Goku yelled.
"AAAAAHHH!" screamed Gohan, leaping about half way across the room and into the
arms of the statue. He slowly climbed out when he realized it was his father. Goku was
dressed in an elaborate priest uniform. It was a light blue colored robe that had a
matching large hat. Gohan gave a puzzled look at Goku.
"...Dad?...What're you doing?" he asked
"Do you except the Freiza Beans as your savior?" he asked again.
"...The Freiza Beans?"
"Yes! Have you not seen the light yet, my child? Oh, you poor thing!" said Goku.
He put an arm around Gohan's shoulder and tried to explain everything. "You see... I
used to be just like you. I always thought Freiza Beans were just a food, but then I had a
vision! I saw a can of Freiza sprout angel wings! Yes, wings!" preached Goku. Gohan
continued to listen, giving his dad a disturbed look. "It grew the wings and began to
fly off into the sky! And it talked too!"
"...It...talked?" asked Gohan.
"YES! Yes, my child! it said, 'Follow me to the world of everlasting happiness.' Then
as I saw it fly, it grabbed hold of a shooting star in the night sky! It was beautiful!
This amazing shooting star carried the can off into the night! Off into the land of
everlasting happiness!!" finished Goku, throwing his arms up in the air and speaking
with great enthusiasm. Gohan merely stared at Goku with his jaw dropped.
"...I think it would be a good idea if we payed the nice Dr. Gero a visit, hm?"
said Gohan, trying to calm down Goku. Goku snatched himself away from Gohan and hissed.
"You non believer! You doubt you power of the Freiza Beans!! Your time will come,
heretic!" yelled Goku, pointing a finger at Gohan. Then Goku turned and dashed out
the door and dashed outside. He stared at the sun, smiled, then threw his arms up in the
air. "I must tell everyone! I must tell the whole world!! I must tell them of the
extravagant power of the Beans!!" He yelled. And so he ran off into the sunset,
kicking up his priest robe and holding his hat. Gohan watched as his father ran off to
tell everyone about the beans power.
"...So it appears we are related..." says Gohan, "I am now afraid..."
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((A few minutes later at 'Mr. Buu's Film College'...))
"Congratulations, class of... whatever date it is..." began
Mr. Buu. He was standing in front of a line of students all in a graduation uniform. All
of them stood ready to receive their diplomas. Mr. Buu walked back and forth dressed in
the typical director's suit ((A monocle, beret, big leather boots, high pants... you know
the dress code)). "I stand before all you fine students today to announce... EVERYONE
OF YOU PATHETIC LUMPS FAILED!!!" yelled Mr. Buu. "Never... NEVER in the history
of teaching film directing have I ever seen such a large amount of students fail! What's
wrong with you all?" he continued, everyone just groaned. "What, were you all
out drinking beer, having fun, and getting laid during this college semester?" asked
Mr. Buu. All the students eyes wandered, having no comment on the subject. Mr. Buu took a
deep sigh and calmed down. "However, there is ONE passing student in my class... and
he is..." began Buu, opening up a diploma to see who passed. "...Piccolo!"
he said. All the students parted down the middle and looked to Piccolo, who was in the
very back of the crowd. Piccolo's attention sparked and his eyes grew wide.
"Huh? What?" asked Piccolo, not really remembering what was going on. Mr. Buu
waddled over and vigorously shook Piccolo's hand, causing Piccolo to shake up and down.
"Congratulations, my good boy! You are the only one to pass my class in this year!
You truly have the mind and dreams of a great director!"
"...Oh." said Piccolo, remembering what the topic was again.
"Here's your diploma," said Mr. Buu, slapping the diploma in Piccolo's hand,
"And now you may go out and fulfill your destiny to become a great director!"
"Hey, yeah!" said Piccolo, looking out to the sun and holding his diploma, his
eyes sparkled.
"GO! GO FULFILL YOUR DREAM! BECOME A FINE DIRECTOR!!" encouraged Mr. Buu.
"YEAH!!!" screamed Piccolo, excited. He dashed out the door with his diploma and
went to put his film knowledge to use. Mr. Buu turned back to all the other students.
"As for the rest of you... you may all resume getting drunk and having toga
parties." he said. The students threw up their hats and cheered, then grabbed a keg
and started a toga party.
As Piccolo was walking on a grassy field with his diploma, he began to
think.
"Hm... What should I do as my first directing project?" he asked himself,
holding his chin and looking up. "Maybe a horror film, or an action flick, or a
mystery mini series." he thought, but then it clicked in his head. "I got it! A
soap opera!" he said, and then he began to think some more ideas that would pretain
to his soap opera. "I'm going to need a cast too... heh, I know just the
people." he said, he flew off into the sky and to a certain place.
"Let me get this straight..." said Tien, sitting on a couch
with his arms folded. Yamcha and Chao-zu were sitting next to him. "You want us to
star in your soap opera series as to fulfill your dream as a director?"
"Uh-huh!" said Piccolo, nodding his head.
"I never knew you wanted to be a director." said Chao-zu.
"That's what I thought... but Mr. Buu told me that wasn't really how I felt."
said Piccolo.
"How much does this PAY?" asked Yamcha. "I got a reputation as a strong
warrior to keep, and I wouldn't want my macho aura to be dimmed by a soap opera!"
"What reputation?" asked Tien. Yamcha looked down sheepishly and said nothing.
"I'll pay each of you all in peanuts." said Piccolo. All of them looked outraged
at Piccolo.
"Peanuts?!? Forget it!" said Tien.
"No! No! You don't understand! These are MAGICAL peanuts!" said Piccolo, and he
held out a handfull of peanuts. "One bite of these and you'll be able to fly!"
"Wow! Fly! Really? Where do I sign?" asked Yamcha. Piccolo flipped out a
contract and Yamcha quickly singed it. Piccolo handed him the beans, Yamcha gobbled all of
them.
"Wow!! I really think I can fly now!!" exclaimed Yamcha. Chao-zu rolled his eyes
and Tien gave a stern look to Yamcha.
"You idiot! We all can fly!" said Tien. Yamcha's excitement quickly turned to
dismay, Piccolo chuckled.
"That's one down... As for you two, I pay you 50 bucks an episode." said
Piccolo.
"Hmph, 50 bucks is way too low... my pride is on the line here, buddy!" retorted
Tien. Chao-zu walked over to the fridge and looked in.
"...Uh, Tien? We're out of milk." said Chao-zu.
"AAAH! No milk? How're we going to get more? All right you sleezy buisness man, you
win! I'll sign just hand over the 50 bucks already!!" screamed Tien, going
hysterical. Chao-zu and Tien signed the contracts. Piccolo smiled and wrapped all the
contracts up.
"Good. Now we just need a few more cast members..." said Piccolo, thinking.
"...I could've got 50 bucks..." said Yamcha, banging his head against the wall.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((Back at PBS...))
A bunch of the PBS executives are sitting in a large meeting room...
and yes, they all have coffee. One man tapping his pen at the end of table speaks.
"Now, um... about our recent Teletubby episode?"
"...Why, what's wrong with it?" asked another executive.
"Well, I do think there was something wrong..." said someone else.
"Yeah, Tinky Winky gained weight. Have you seen his thighs?" said another
person. They begin getting into a discussion about Tinky Winky's thighs. The execuitve
tapping his pen breaks the discussion.
"Oh come on people! Think! Look at our most recent episode!" yelled the
executive. He pulled out a remote and turned on a TV in the room. The TV played a taped
episode of their most recent Teletubby episode. The narrator began to speak for the show.
"Here in the magical land is where the Teletubbies play!" said the narrator.
"There's Tinky Winky!"
"Tinky Winky!" called out Tinky Winky, running out into the screen.
"There's Tipsy..."
"Tipsy!" called out Tipsy, running out into the screen.
"There's Po..."
"Po!" called out Po, running out into the screen.
"And Lala!"
"Lala!" called out Lala. Keep in mind however, Lala is now in Ginyuu's body!
Instead of the plump yellow Teletubby running out, out came a large purple muscular alien
man! The Lala-Ginyuu was looking around the area. "Lala's ball?" asked
Lala-Ginyuu, looking around.
"Uh-oh... Looks like Lala lost her ball again! Will Po help Lala find her ball?"
asked the narrator. Po thrusted herself onto the screen, obviously being pushed into the
scene by a stage manager. Po looked off screen to a bunch of stage managers.
"Po! PO!" cried Po, very nervous. Realizing no help, Po slowly turned and slowly
walked to the Lala-Ginyuu.
"Lala's ball?" asked Lala-Ginyuu. Po just shrugged. "Lala's ball?!"
repeated Lala-Ginyuu. Po quivered now, took a step back, and shrugged again. "LALA'S
BALL?!?!" screamed out Lala-Ginyuu. Lala-Ginyuu aimed a palm at Po and fired a Ki
blast. The smoke and lights cleared from the blasts, revealing a Po that was on fire.
"PPPPPOOOOOO!" screamed out Po, running in circles while on fire. Po threw
herself on the ground and rolled around, trying to die out the flames, still screaming.
"POOOOO! PPPPOOOO!!" she continued. Then a bunch of stage workers ran in with
fire extinguishers and smothered Po in the fire extinguishing fluid. All that could be
seen of her was a heap of the fire extinguishing fluid lying on the floor.
"Uh-oh... Looks like Po has a boo-boo..." said the narrator. The executive
producer who turned on the TV turned the TV back off.
"Alright... Someone wanna tell me why Lala is big, muscular and scary?" he
asked, looking to everyone sitting at the table. They all sat silent, at a loss of words.
"...Maybe she realized that if she wants to express girl-power, she'd have to become
as strong as a man. Am I right?" said another person. Everyone merely agreed, the
executive at the end of the table that turned on the TV rolled his eyes. Just then,
Lala-Ginyuu busted through the doors breaking everything she could get her hands on.
"LALA'S BALL!! LALA'S BALL!!!!!" Lala-Ginyuu screamed, punching the walls. She
picked up a bunch of the chairs and threw them against the walls and out windows. Then she
lifted up the table and flipped it over. All the executives ran around scared.
"Get the stage workers in here!!!" screamed the executive at the end of table.
Then a bunch of stage workers ran in with fire extinguishers. They sprayed Lala-Ginyuu
entirely with the frie extinguisher. Then she fell to the floor covered in the fire
extinguishing fluid. All the executives came to look at her.
"...I think she's been having a BIT too much tubby-custard..." said an
executive. They all agreed.
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((Back at Freiza's Headquarters...))
A plump Freiza walks into the laundry room. He walks to the washing
machine and throws all the clothes into the dryer. After he puts all the clothes in he
walks out, but stops as he begins to turn the door knob. He notices a group of his
henchmen grouped in the corner looking at him. They are both still and silent, just
watching eachother. Freiza finally breaks the ice.
"...What're you all doing here?" he asked. Just as he asked it, all the henchmen
leaped over and tackled Freiza. "WAAAAH!!" he screamed as they all dog piled on
him. They all cleared away from him to reveal that he was tied up in rope from neck to
ankle. He struggled to break himself free, but no use.
"Alright, we're gonna fix this once and for all!" said one henchman. All the
other henchmen agreed. They all lifted Freiza up and carried him off to another room.
They walked all the way to Freiza's room. They threw him on his bed and
surrounded him. Freiza still struggled to break free.
"Untie me! I am your master! I'll make Freiza Beans outta all of ya!" he yelled.
One henchman dressed all in black and was holding a bible stepped forward.
"If the Dragon Balls will not cure you, perhaps we must drive the cannibal demon out
of you!" he said. Freiza eyes glowed pink and his voice changed to a more demonic
tone.
"Mwa ha ha! Silly mortal! You cannot fight the power of the cannibal curse!"
said Freiza in the demon voice. All the henchmen took a step back except for the exorcist
henchman.
"Back demon! BACK!!!" yelled out the exorcist, he whipped out a wooden cross.
"Ha ha ha! That cannot stop me!" said Freiza. He made a loud hocking sound, and
then vomitted a thick stream of green puke all over the exorcist. The exorcist just stood
there, his eyes tightly closed, and green puke dripping all over him.
"Very well. I have no choice but to use... THE HEAVY ARTILLERY!!" yelled out the
exorcist and he held out his bible in front of him for Freiza to see. Freiza hissed. The
exorcist flipped through a bunch of pages and stopped at certain page.
"Here we are! Vedavium du functor ala raisch miskordius!" chanted the exorcist.
Freiza wriggled and hissed. Then Freiza's eyes stopped glowing and his voice turned back
to normal.
"Where... where am I?" asked Freiza looking around, having an innocent look on
his face. One henchman ran over to Freiza.
"Master! You're saved!" he yelled as he ran over. The exorcist called out to the
henchman.
"NO!! HE IS TRICKING YOU!!!" he yelled out. But it was too late. The henchman
was right at Freiza's bed side, and Freiza's eyes turned pink again. His mouth grew to a
ridiculously large size and clamped down on the henchman. Freiza then began to eat the
henchman just like an anaconda would eat an unsuspecting victim. After swallowing the
henchman whole, he let out a large belch. The exorcist lowered his head and shook it with
sorrow, all the other henchman lowered their heads respectfully. Freiza looked at everyone
with his pink glowing eyes.
"Mwa ha ha! You'll never cure my cannibalism! It is a part of me!!!" he yelled
out.
"Time for Plan B." said the exorcist. He took out a cross hanging from a chain,
he swung it back and forth and looked into his bible. He began to read while swinging the
cross.
"Spirits of the heavens, repent the hungry demon within this child..." he began.
Freiza hissed and began to spin his head.
"EE-YAA-YAA-YAA-YAA!!!" screeched Freiza, his head still spinning. Someone of
his henchmen took some steps away from him, quivering. The exorcist continued to read,
then black clouds formed in Freiza's room. The clouds thundered and it began to rain
frogs. "Eeeha ha ha ha! Ya like it? Huh? Do ya, punk?!" laughed Freiza while it
rained frogs. The exorcist wiped all the frogs off him and continued to read. One henchman
in the back called out.
"It's not working! The cannibal demon is too strong!" he yelled out. The
exorcist closed his bible, realizing the other henchman was right.
"You can't defeat me! I am F-O-R-E-V-E-R..." said Freiza slowly while turning
his head slowly. Half-way around, there was a big snap from his neck. Freiza tried to move
it, but it was stuck.
"...Uh-oh..." said Freiza, trying to move his head out of the snapped position.
"This is not going to work. We need to move onto Plan C! PLAN C EVERYONE!!!"
called out the exorcist. All the henchman picked up the tied Freiza and carried him out of
the room.
"BYAA LA LA LA LA!!!" roared Freiza in his demonic voice as they carried him
out, his green snake tongue flying around wildly.
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((And at the same time at Dr. Gero's rehab center... ))
Dr. Gero and androids 16, 17, and 18 were standing around a glowing
silo. Bulma was inside, her eyes were closed and a strange fluid pumped within the silo.
Gero shook his head dissapointingly.
"It is too late... she is beyond my rehabilitation help." said Gero.
"What should we do with her?" asked 17.
"We have no other choice but to leave her in here for as long as possible." said
Gero. Then they all walked out, except for 16. He stared at her with glassy eyes, watching
her float in the silo. 16 pressed himself against the silo.
"The fools... they are ignorant! They do not see the potential such a creature as
yourself has! Together, we may rule the world!" said 16, laughing an evil cackle.
Dr. Gero, Android 17 and 18 are all sitting at a coffee table eating
corn flakes.
"Who's up for some fast-food breakfast?" asks Gero. 17 and 18 nod. Just then, a
huge, monstorous Bulma that is bulging with muscles and is foaming at the mouth breaks
through a wall.
"...BEANS..." says Bulma in a loud scary voice.
"What?! What is this?" demands Gero. 16 walks up to reveal himself, he has an
evil smirk.
"You fool. You claim to be an intellegent doctor, yet you cannot even contain what
you created!" laughed 16.
"No... we mean what IS this? You're a little sissy that wouldn't even chase a
squirrel!" yelled 17.
"Oh, you should really talk about sissies 'Mr. thick eyes lashes and long silky
hair'." retorted 16. 17 turned his back and folded his arms.
"...You're just jealous 'cause you don't got these thighs." says 17, spanking
his thigh and flinging back his long black hair. 16 shakes his head the get off the topic
of sissies and to get back on topic of ruling the world.
"E-Enough of this! Just... prepare to die... or whatever..." rambles 16, his
eyes wandering. After a long silence, 16 points a finger forward. "Well? KILL
THEM!!!" commanded 16. Bulma ran towards of them, her arms flinging wildly and
roaring like a rabid pig... yes, rabid pigs DO roar. Gero, 17, and 18 sheilded themselves
with their arms. Bulma just ran past them all and busted through a wall.
"BEEEAAANS!" wails Bulma as she runs out into a city. Gero, 17, and 18 unsheild
themselves and turn to 16 with scourn filled eyes.
"...I could not have foreseen that..." says 16 with a blank face. The other
three charge at 16 waving their fists, 16 runs and screams like a little girl.
"Pull his hair out!" yells 17.
"Ki blast his head off!" yells 18.
"Make 'im SQUEAL!!!" yells Gero. They finally run 16 into a corner.
"Stop! All of you stop and listen to me!" begs 16. "I only did what I did
because I was being pushed around! How would one of you feel about being the wimpiest
android? I was scared and desperate! And I bet if you all search deep inside you, you'll
find a scared, wimpy little android!" cries 16. Gero, 17, and 18 all look down in
sorrow. Just then, 18's eyes turn angry and darts a look back to 16.
"He just revealed the harsh truth about ourselves! Maime him!" yells 18,
charging after him again.
"Break his shins!" yells 17, charging after him again as well.
"Make 'im SQUEAL!!!" yells Gero.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((Meanwhile, on a planet no one ever heard of...))
Burter walks around on a colorful planet with a glowing rainbow sky
that changes in color as clouds pass by. Burter looks around on the vast open area he's on
and scratches his head.
"...Come to think of it, I don't even remember why I'm here..." he says to
himself. His eyes widen and he snaps his fingers. "Oh yeah! The Dragon Balls... So I
can uncannibalize Freiza." he says. He looks around again, he see's an equation
floating around in the air, he see's a floating cube of water, and he also see's a whale
swimming in the sky. He raises an eyebrow. "...Now that I think of it, I don't even
remember HOW I got here!" he says, looking around this odd new planet. Just then, a
flying giant frog bumps into him from behind. Burter gets lifted into the sky by the
flying frog and turns around to face him. "Do you know where the Dragon Balls
are?" Burter asks the frog. They both slowly float back to the ground. "...Wait,
what am I saying? I must be so desperate to find these Dragon Balls to ask a frog."
"On the contrary, my good fellow." says the frog, standing on his hind legs and
pulling out a pipe. The frog puffs the pipe as he speaks in his english accent. "You
see, the objects you call the Dragon Balls are about a fortnights travel to the east. Once
there, you should find refreshments as well as the object you desire... but perhaps I said
too much..." says the frog with a smirk, puffing his pipe. The smoke from the pipe
turn into butterflies and flutter away.
"Thanks!" says Burter to the frog. Burter then skips off in the east direction
for the Dragon Ball.
A bunch of hippies smokin' weed and pot look at Burter who is skipping
in circles in the room.
"Dude, you gave that blue guy our last drag?" asks one hippy to another.
"Yeah, man... he came in yelling something about Dragon Balls, so I gave hima little
drag to calm him down, man..." rambles the hippy.
TO BE CONTINUED...
<<Is it just me, or was the first Freiza Beans the best... and then there was a
steady decline? Ah well, that's what happens when you make sequels. Like me, you're
wondering when the FB series will end. Well, it'll end in two more stories! That's right!
Number five will be the last one! YIPEEE!! ...Well, for you people at least. I, however,
will have to spend more torturous nights trying to finish the series! So while you're in
the bathroom, reading your printed out copy of Freiza Beans... I hope you fall in! Because
I will not be sitting on the toilet... I'll be sitting in my worn-in wooden chair writing
this... WHY ME?!?!? I'm hungry...>> -Steve
P.S.= I AM VERY LONELY! And I need your opinion! So e-mail me at...
malusdrcla@aol.com
Please... PLEASE E-MAIL ME YOUR OPINION!!! ...If you don't I'll cry... *weep, weep* ...ya
see?