The Story After Freiza Beans: ((Freiza Beans 2))
((By Steve Golebiewski- written 11/12/99))
*************************************************************************
Narrator from DBZ: Last time on Freiza Beans... Freiza was cursed with cannibalism, Trunks
and Goten just finished their adventurous documentary on the 'Chikyuu Witch', and Bulma is
now addicted to a new amazingly delicious food called 'Freiza Beans', and is about to
break VERy expensive statue just to get some. And that's where we left off... and now
presenting, "THE STORY AFTER FREIZA BEANS!"
((Really crappy guitar music starts playing, the title "THE STORY AFTER FREIZA
BEANS" is displayed on the screen))
*************************************************************************
"That does it! You see the statue? SEE IT?!!! Say bye bye to
'Guuchuwala'!!!" Yells Bulma, holding the statue over her head. Vegita's eyes widen
with fear. He dashes over and holds Bulma's hand with all his might. "No Vegita!! It
has to be done!!! EEEYYYYAAAAHHH!!"
"Dammit put down the statue!! It's a one of a kind! WE CAN'T GET
THEM ANYMORE!!! PUT IT DOWWWWWWN!!" Screams Vegita, his face turning red trying to
over power Bulma's grip on the statue. Bulma shoves away Vegita and runs over to an open
window in the room. She holds the statue out the window with one hand.
"DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! Just roll the beans over to me, and the
statue lives. But if you don't... SHHHHHhhhheeeeewww........ CRASH_clsh-clsh-clsh...
Goodbye statue!" rants Bulma, making the sound effects of the statue falling and
breaking. Vegita slowly takes one step closer to Bulma, holding his hands out.
"...It's okay Bulma, honey... just.... put the statue down NICE
and easy now..." says Vegita. Bulma shakes the statue as Vegita walks closer.
"No! No more tricky smooth talk! You've ALWAYS been hounding me
about problems! 'Bulma, did you see the remote?', 'Bulma, where'd you hide my car keys?',
'Bulma, why'd you have your period in the bed?' It's always something!!!" yells
Bulma, tearing up in the eyes. Vegita raises an eyebrow.
"I never said anything about you having a period in the
bed..."
"Enough talking! Either give me the beans, or the statue
dies!" yells Bulma.
"Bulma, thats what I've been trying to tell you! I just came back
from Freizas Headquarters. The ingredients are made of Freizas Henchmen! Kui,
Zarbon, Dodoria, and everyone else! says Vegita.
I warned you! Now I... did you say they were made of
Dodoria? asks Bulma. Vegita nods. Bulmas face turns green, she sets the statue
back in the room.
Run to the toilet, honey! You can do it! preps Vegita to
Bulma. Bulma runs to the bathroom. ten seconds later, you hear horrible vomit sounds from
inside. Vegita shudders.
Everythings going to be okay, Bra... I think. says
Vegita, looking nervously at the bathroom.
Just then Trunks walks into the house with his bags.
Hello? Im home! yells out Trunks. Bra runs downstairs
to greet Trunks.
Youre home! Did you find the witch? asks Bra.
No, but it was an exciting camping trip. Replies Trunks. He
walks off to the kitchen for a glass of water.
Vegita walks downstairs, the door knocks. Vegita answers it, its
ChiChi!
Vegita, have you seen Goten? He didnt come back
today. asks ChiChi.
Nope, but Trunks mayve. Hes in the kitchen if you
want to ask him. says Vegita. ChiChi walks into the kitchen.
Trunks, have you seen Goten? asks ChiChi.
...I havent seen him since dinner... slurs Trunks,
slowly turning around. His eyes are glowing a bright pink! Hes a rather
stringy boy... you should try... fattening him up more... rambles Trunks...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((At the Ginyuu Force Base...))
Guldo, Jeice, Burter, and Ginyuu are in the main room playing poker.
Got any 2s? asks Burter. Ginyuu leers at Burter.
For the last time, were playing poker! snarls Ginyuu.
How about you Jeice, how many you drawing?
Go fish. says Jeice. Guldo and Burter snicker. Ginyuu flips
up the poker table and Ki Blasts Jeice for that comment. Jeice lies on the floor,
twitching and burnt. Guldo begins to sweat as he tries to calm down Ginyuu.
T-Take it easy boss! Its just a game! says Guldo.
ITS NOT JUST A GAME! ITS MY LIFE!!! yells
Ginyuu. Recoome walks in.
Guys, we got a job from Freiza. says Recoome. Ginyuu turns
to him.
Really? Whats the briefing? asks Ginyuu. Recoome
scratches his head.
Well, its kinda hard to explain. All he said we have to do
his go over to his Headquarters... and something about bringing our tender, meaty thighs
with us... says Recoome. They all raise an eyebrow.
...G-Go... f... f... fish.... gasps out Jeice, lying on the
floor.
What do you mean bring our meaty thighs with us? asks
Ginyuu.
Dont ask me, thats all that Freiza said. says Recoome.
Maybe Freiza is finally noticing our rippling physique. says Burter, tensing a
muscle. Ginyuu folds his arms and looks up.
Alright then. says Ginyuu, he points out the door, To the space
pods!
They all run out to their space pods and go in, Jeice drags his burnt body to his pod.
After theyre all seated in, they get launched off to Freizas HQ.
They all arrive quickly to his HQ. They step out of their space pods
and get a fresh wiff of the air around Freizas HQ. Then they all get in stance.
Guldo does his pose.
GULDO! Yells Guldo, flashing a pose.
RECOOME! Yells Recoome, striking a stance.
JEICE! Yells Jeice, posing ever so flashy.
BURTER! Yells Burter, with pose to strike fear into any mortal.
GINYU! yells Ginyu, in front of the group. AND WE ARE... Just
then, the camera rapidly zooms in and out on the group.
THE GINYU FORCE!!! They all yell, stars sparkling all over the posing team.
Just then a bunch of photographers come out of nowhere and begin to flash pictures of the
group.
YES! YES! Now give me pout! Thats it! says one of the photographers. Not
knowing exactly whats going on, Burter shrugs and begins to give a pouty look.
CMON! STRONGER! STRONG LIKE TIGER! MAKE ME WANT TO RUN IN FEAR! yells
another photographer with an accent, Jeice quickly gets out of pose and begins to gringe
his teeth and roar. Another photographer walks around Captain Ginyu and examines him
closely.
Hmm... not bad... but I say, add some hair extensions on the sides, lower your
eyebrows, and and give you green tinted contacts... and tell me, how do you feel about
breast implants? says the photographer. Ginyu snarls and bashes away the
photographer.
Get out of here! All of you! Have you no shame? yells Ginyu. One photographer
with a heavy load of camera equpiment sniffles and begins to tear up.
"But it's the job I was born for..." he says. The crying photographer slowly
walks away, holding his head sheepishly. The photographers follow him and comfort him,
looking back at the Ginyu force and snarling. The Ginyu force just stands there for a
while, not really knowing what just happened. Then they walk into Freiza's Headquarters.
As they walk in, they notice the halls are empty, and kinda wrecked.
They all take a few more steps in
"Hellooooooooooooo?" asks Ginyu. The halls are so empty that is echoes all
around. Recoome scratches his head.
"Where is everybody?" Asks Recoome. Jeice walks around a bit, looking all around
for someone. Finally, Jeice gets bored and leans against a wall. Unfortunately for Jeice,
he didn't see it was the laundry hamper. As Jeice leaned against it, he went falling down
the winding steel hamper shoot.
"WAAAAAAAAH!!" yelled Jeice as he slid down the laundry shoot. He came out the
end into a pile of dirty laundry. He gasped for air as he struggled to get out of the big
pile dirty clothes, finally he dug himself out and realized he was in the laundry room
((duh)). He looked around the small square room and found a handful of Freiza's henchmen
sitting in a circle. All his henchmen turn to Jeice. Jeice just stares at them for a
while, not quite getting what is going on. "Umm... are you all doing laundry
together?" asks Jeice, looking from side to side of the small room. One of the
hencmen gets up.
"Jeice! Are we glad to see you! We have something urgent to report!" he says.
Jeice steps out of the laundry pile and walks toward the circle of henchmen.
"Hey, wait a minute. I take orders from Freiza, not his little lackies!" retorts
Jeice.
"No! You don't understand! Freiza has turned in to a cannibal! If you're not careful,
he'll eat you next!" says the henchman. Jeice raises an eyebrow.
"...What are you talking about?" asks Jeice.
"We're not sure what happened, but before we knew it Freiza was barging around,
eating anyone he could find! Dodoria, Zarbon, and Kui were already eaten!"
Jeice begins to think about what he's talking about, then sits down
with everyone else.
"Now it's like this, Jeice. He's a cannibal and eating everyone, we told you that.
That's why we're all hiding down here, so he cant find us and turn us into Freiza Beans.
Now, we've discussed this and realized that if we can get all seven Dragon Balls, we can
wish him not to be a cannibal anymore!"
"But, aren't all the Dragon Balls in Freiza's room?" asks Jeice.
"Yes, but we figured it would be safer to stay down here rather than risk our necks
up there! That's where you come in. We propose that you go up there and get the Dragon
Balls!" says the henchman.
"Now wait a minute! Why do I have to get them?"
"Well, okay, lets have a vote then. Who votes that Jeice goes up and gets the Dragon
Balls?" all the henchmen raise their hands. "Who opposes?" Jeice raises his
hand. "Well, majority has spoken Jeice, get your ass up there and get the Dragon
Balls!" says the henchman. Jeice grumbles a bit and climbs back up the laundry shoot.
Jeice gets out of the laundry shoot and brushes the dust off him.
"Now let's see... The Dragon Balls are in Freiza's room, and Freiza's room is that
way." says Jeice, looking to his left. He walks over to the left. He hears Recoome
scream more towards the hall. "That was Recoome!" yells Jeice. Jeice begins to
run down the hall,and finally makes it to Freiza's room. There are all seven Dragon Balls.
Jeice walks towards them, but recoome puts a hand on Jeice's shoulder, Jeice gasps.
"Oh... it's only you Recoome, dont scare me like..." Before Jeice can finish, He
realizes the hand of Recoome is only an arm! A bloody, ripped arm!
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" screams Jeice, and he notices an obese Freiza with a
can of Freiza Beans.
"So, you're planning to unwish my cannibalism, huh? Not this time, pretty boy!"
yells Freiza. He dashes over and huddles all his Dragon Balls very close. Ginyuu, Burter,
and Guldo run in the room to see what's going on. "I like eating people! They're so
much tastier than Quarter-pounders with cheese!" then Freiza looks at all the Dragon
Balls. "You see these? You want em?" he asks holding them out. The rest of the
Ginyuu force looks at him nervously.
"No! Don't!" yells Jeice. Freiza turns to the giant window in his room, and
chucks all seven Dragon Balls out the window and in different directions.
"Go fetch, boy!" says Freiza. Burter's jaw drops as he see's the Dragon Balls
fly out.
"Man... Those went pretty far!" says Burter.
"Now no one can stop me! AH HA HA HA HA!" Brags Freiza. Just then, Guldo
delivers a karate chop to Freiza's neck, stopping the blood flow and making him go
unconscious. Freiza falls to the floor.
"Good job, Guldo." says Ginyuu. "Now then, about those Dragon Balls. Jeice,
Burter, and myself will go looking all over for them. Guldo, you stay here with Freiza and
make sure he dosen't eat anybody."
"What? How do I do that??" asks Guldo.
"I don't know... hog-tie him or something." says Ginyuu. Then he points out the
window. "TO THE DRAGON BALLS!!!" he yells out, then the three of them fly out.
Guldo turns and looks at Freiza who is still lying on the floor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((Later, at the "Jerry Springer Show"))
The title the "Jerry Springer Show" appears on the screen,
along with their saxaphone music. It also shows the audience cheering and clapping. Then
it focuses on Jerry.
"Hello, Welcome everyone." says Jerry. "Today's topic
is, 'I'm a Cannibal... Deal with it!'" after Jerry finishes, the crowd begins
cheering and clapping. "Now, today we have with us... ChiChi." The camera to the
show focuses on her, sitting in a chair. "ChiChi is a devoted wife, mother, and
former warrior. Welcome to the show ChiChi." finishes Jerry. The crowd cheers for
her.
"Thank you, Jerry." says ChiChi.
"Now... you say your son was eaten by a cannibal while doing a documentary."
"Yes." the crowd begins aweing and making sad expressions. "Not only that
Jerry, he was eaten by his best friend!" finishes ChiChi, who is crying, one of the
stage managers brings her a box of tissues.
"Well, ChiChi, we have a way you can get revenge... Let's bring out Goten's cannibal,
Trunks!" says Jerry. Trunks walks out of the entrance door, everyone in the audience
gets into a chorus of booing and cursing. Trunks waves his middle fingers around to the
audience, then walks over and takes a seat next to ChiChi. "Welcome to show
Trunks."
"It's great to be here, Jerry." says Trunks.
"How could you? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY BABY BOY?!?!?!?!?" screams ChiChi as
she lunges for Trunks. The whole audience starts cheering and chants "JE-RRY!
JE-RRY!"
"You stupid *bleep* get your *bleeping* hands off my *bleep*!" yells trunks,
trying to fight off the enraged ChiChi.
"NO, YOU LITTLE *bleep bleep* *bleep* YOU *bleep* YOU *bleeping* ATE MY *bleeping*
SON YOU *bleep* *bleep*!!!" screams ChiChi. The whole audience still claps and
cheers, but nervously. "*Bleep* YOU *bleeping bleep bleeping bleep* AND *bleep* AND
*bleep* AND *bleep*!!!" Now only a few people in the audience clap, the rest watch on
with horror as ChiChi beats down Trunks. A few people in the audience shed a tear of fear.
Finally, a bunch of security guards pull ChiChi and Trunks away, and they both take their
seats. The audience is now completely quiet, expressions of fear and shock are on all
their faces. Jerry clears his throat.
"...Yes... well, um..." says Jerry. A trickle of blood rolls down Trunks mouth.
"...Yajirobe fights better than you..." mutters Trunks.
"Oh that does it, YOU'RE GOING DOWN YOU LITTLE MOTHER *bleeper*!!!" yells ChiChi
as she tackles Trunks. The whole audience starts cheering and clapping again, and they
chant "JE-RRY! JE-RRY!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((Later, on Chikyuu))=[[Chikyuu means Earth, for those that don't know...]]
Ginyuu lands on Earth and looks from side to side for wherever the
Dragon Balls may have landed. He scratches his head.
"Aww, crap! They could be anywhere!" he says. "Time for my trusty scouter
to do a little searching for me..." Ginyuu whips out his green scouter and taps the
button on the side a few times. It bleeps and bloops a few times, then points west.
"Ah-HA!" exclaims Ginyuu. He flies off in that direction.
Ginyuu's scouter leads him to a building called PBS.
"This must be it." says Ginyuu.
Everyone inside the PBS building is either at a desk drinking coffee,
at a camera drinking coffee, or fixing the stage drinking coffee. Just then, the wall gets
blasted and everyone runs away screaming and clutching they're blessed coffee. The smoke
clears and reveals Ginyuu with one open palm to the wall. He puts his palm down and rings
the door bell.
"Hello? Anybody home?" asks Ginyuu. Then Ginyuu stops and thinks for a while.
"...Crap... Jeice told me about this... I'm supposed to RING... and THEN ENTER."
With that, Ginyuu walks through the hole in the wall he made casually. He taps his scouter
for a location of the Dragon Balls, and it leads him in a direction just past a door in
front of him. He walks past the door and notices many more doors with stars on the doors.
Ginyuu barges through the first door. It's the red Teletubby, Po! Po
turns around in surprise at Ginyuu. Ginyuu's eyes widen with shock.
"Wha? What the hell are you?" yells Ginyuu.
"PO!" shouts Po gleefully.
"Hmm... your not a Saiyan... not a Namek... Perhaps an Android?" wonders Ginyuu.
"Po!" shouts Po again. Ginyuu checks his scouter at Po.
<<SCOUTER READING: ~~~2>>
Ginyuu bursts out with laughter.
"Ya little shrimp, you ain't worth my time. The Dragon Ball isn't in here."
Ginyuu walks out. He kicks down the door next to Po's room. It's the purple Teletubby,
Tinky Winky! "Hmph, another one." says Ginyuu.
"Tinky Winky!" the teletubby shouts. Then Tinky Winky eyes Ginyuu up and down.
Ginyuu raises an eyebrow and checks his power level.
<<SCOUTER READING: ~~~4>>
"Another weakling! And no Dragon Ball in here!" says Ginyuu. He walks out and
Tinky Winky spanks Ginyuu's bottom. "Woo Woo!" squeals Ginyuu. He rubs his
bottom, slams the door, and punches down the next door. It's the green Teletubby, Tipsy!
"Tipsy!" whelps the green teletubby.
"Not in here either." says Ginyuu. He walks out and goes in the last door. It's
the yellow Teletubby, Lala! And Lala has the Dragon Ball! Ginyuu's eyes widen. "YES!
Finally, the Dragon Ball!" yells Ginyuu. He walks over and tries to grab the Dragon
Ball, but Lala holds on tight.
"Lala's Ball!!!" yells Lala.
"No, it's not Lala's ball, it's a Dragon Ball I need to uncannibalize Freiza!!!"
says Ginyuu, trying to get the ball.
"LA------LA'S---- BAAAAALLLLLL!!!!" roars Lala in a demonic voice. Ginyuu hops
back scared, his eyes widened.
"What the? Better get a power reading." says Ginyuu, tapping his scouter.
<<SCOUTER READING: ~~~900,000,000,000>>
"AAAAHHHHH!" screams Ginyuu at the Power Reading. He quivers, sweat breaks all
over his face and body. Lala merely plays with the Dragon Ball. "Such a peaceful
creature, yet... so unwittingly powerful..." says Ginyuu. "Look at it... just
playing, plotting devious schemes as it acts so harmless... what an EVIL creature..."
quivers Ginyuu, stepping back. Lala just looks back at Ginyuu and smiles.
"Lala!" cheers the yellow teletubby. Ginyuu squeals like a little girl and jumps
behind a table, using it as a sheild. He pokes his head over it and watches Lala from a
distance.
"It's clever... TOO clever..." murmurs Ginyuu to himself. "I must outsmart
it somehow..." Ginyuu begins to think, then it clicks in his head. "I got
it!"
Lala rolls around the Dragon Ball.
"Hey, yellow thingy!" calls out Ginyuu. Lala turns with a puzzled look back at
Ginyuu. At that moment, he spreads out his arms and gathers energy. "CHANGE...
NOW!!!" yells Ginyuu at the top of his lungs. The strange switch takes place,
Ginyuu's soul enters Lala's body, and vice versa. The two feel a bit woozy after the
change, but then come to their senses. Ginyuu looks at his newly acquired fuzzy yellow
body. "YES! I now have the body of the most powerful creature in the universe!"
shouts out Ginyuu in Lala's body. The Ginyuu-Lala throws his hands up in the air with
power, Lala in Ginyuu's body merely raises an eyebrow.
"Lala?"
"Ha ha! And this Dragon Ball is mine too! Mwa ha ha! So long, weird thingy!"
says Ginyuu-Lala, and he waddles out the door with the Dragon Ball and flies out. Just
then, a stage manager yells in Lala's room.
"Yellow Teletubby! You're on in 5 minutes!"
The Lala-Ginyuu runs out the door with it's new purple, alien, muscle bound body.
"Lala!" it shouts out in glee.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((Back at Freiza's Headquarters))
"Ugghhh..." groans Freiza as he comes to his senses. His
vision is blurred for a moment, then comes into focus. Guldo stands in front of him, and
Freiza realizes the position he's in. He looks around and finds his belly to floor, hog
tied! Freiza swings himself back and forth to try to get himself out of the rope. Guldo
looks to Freiza.
"Give it up, Freiza. You're not going anywhere until we can cure your
cannibalism." says Guldo.
"What're you talking about???" yells an enraged Freiza.
"Don't lie! You just ate Recoome, I don't even wanna know how many of your other men
you ate."
"Pudgey four eyed looking frog man! You think these ropes can hold me?!?" says
Freiza, and he begins to grunt and groan and leans himself back and forth trying to break
free of the ropes. After leaning himself to the sides for a while, he lands on his side
with a thud. "...Ow." says Freiza, on his ribs. Guldo raises an eyebrow
((assuming he has eyebrows)).
"Uh-huh. Well, you keep at it, I'm gonna contact the captain." says Guldo,
beginning to walk out of the room. Freiza hops back onto his belly, still having his hands
tied to his feet behind his back. He hops over to Guldo who is walking out.
"HEY! Get back here, ya little blubbery frog man!" yells Freiza. "Get back
here, I'll rip ya apart! I'll bite ya! ARR-ARR-ARR-ARR-ARR!!!" Freiza makes biting
sounds and barks at Guldo. Guldo finally walks out the door. Freiza let's out a heavy
sigh, realizing he's gonna stay hog tied for quite some time.
Guldo taps on a radio with headphones on his ears, turning a knob on
the radio to receive the captains signals.
"Captain? Captain are you there?" asks Guldo. He recieves a faint response
through the static.
"Lala..." says a voice on the other line. Guldo gives a puzzled look.
"Uh, captain? Have you found the Dragon Balls?"
"Lala..."
"Captain, I can't make out what your saying! Please speak clearly."
"...Lala's Ball!"
"Captain, are you feeling alright?" asks Guldo. But before the voice can
respond, his siganl gets cut off. Guldo throws down the head phones and grunts. Right
after that, he hears a faint voice from Freiza's room.
"...Gulllllldooooo..." whispers an eerie voice from the room. Guldo slowly turns
to it with a sweat drop rolling down the side of his head.
"...Guuuullllldooooo..." the voice says again. Guldo slowly walks over to
Freiza's room and opens the door. The room is pitch black, excpet Guldo can see the
hog-tied Freiza levatating in the air. Frieza raises his head to face Guldo, his eyes
glowing pink ((You know what that means!)). Guldo gives Freiza a puzzled look, Freiza just
smiles... an eerie, freakish smile. "...My dear Guldo... you have every right to tie
me up like this. I'm so... DANGEROUS in this state..." says Freiza, still floating.
"Freiza... w-what're you doing?" asks Guldo.
"But you see, Guldo... I can help others with my little problem. I created a food so
great using the people I eat... BEHOLD!" says Freiza, then a curtain drops from
behind him. Guldo sheilds his eyes as the room is instantly filled with a bright white
light from what is behind the curtain. Guldo squints and see's there is a glass wall
filled 'Freiza Bean' cans. All the cans are perfectly stacked behind the glass and the
bright light illuminating the stacking area. Guldo's eyes widen at the sight of all the
beans.
"Wha... what is it?" asks Guldo.
"Why, it's my amazing new food... Freiza Beans. Here, have a sample... they even
taste exquisite when they're cold." Freiza telekinetically brings Guldo a can and
opens it for him. Guldo takes the can and takes a handful. He eats it, and his eyes turn
sparkling and dazed.
"My God! These are the most delicious things I've ever eaten!" exclaims Guldo.
Freiza smiles devilishly, his eyes still glowing pink.
"And all these cans can be yours, if you do one... easy thing for me..." starts
Freiza. "Un tie me, and they're all yours." Guldo thought about it, and
shrugged.
"Hm, okay." said Guldo as he went over and un tied Freiza. Freiza flipped to the
ground and turned to Guldo with his pink glowing eyes.
"Now you're gettin' in my belly, four eyes!" growled Freiza drooling from the
mouth.
"...I should've seen this coming..." said Guldo in a non-chalant voice. Freiza
leaped onto Guldo and started biting away at him, Guldo screamed and tried to get away.
"FREIZA BEANS!!!!!!!" screamed Freiza and he munched away on Guldo.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((Back on Chikyuu... On the set of the show 'COPS'...))
A camera is aimed at a middle aged cop driving in a car. The cop has a
mustache, and his name 'Jeffery Daniels' is posted at the bottom of the screen.
"Well, ya see..." started Jeff, the camera aimed at the side of his face as he
drove, "We find a lot of weirdos and criminals that break the law. Usually we arrest
them, but if they're not commiting crimes we don't. We never leave the area until our man
is found, unlike my wife..." says Jeff, his eyes tearing up. "I... I don't know
where we went wrong, Debbie. If only you'd be more direct." his voice quivering now.
"Why? Why'd ya leave me???" cries the cop, hiding his face. Just then, his radio
gives off a static sound and then someone speaks from the other end.
"Jeff? Jeff ya there? We got a 1-0-9-0-4-6-7-2. Come by the 'Susan's Cafe' on the
double." finishes the voice. Jeff stops crying and looks to the camera and groans.
"Ahh, a 1-0-9-0-4-6-7-2. Casting curses on other people without a permit. See? This
is what I mean about people breakin' the law... pisses me off." says the cop.
He makes a few turns as he drives down the road and stops near the area
at 'Susan's Cafe'. He steps out and the camera follows him. He steps inside the cafe and
walks over to a group of cops. They're all surrounded around a lady having seizures and
Ecoostik! Jeff walks into the huddle of cops and straightens his belt.
"Alright... what seems to be the problem here?" asks Jeff.
"Sir, we have reason to believe this little green man is inflicting a world wide
spread of curses... or at least in most of California." says another cop. Jeff kneels
down to Ecoostik's eye level and looks him in the eyes.
"Sir, are you aware it is illegal to cast curses without a license?" asks Jeff,
trying to act as intimidating as possible.
"What are you talking about?" asks Ecoostik, trying to act dumb.
"Sir, we have several witnesses that you cast the curse of convulsions on this young
lady." says Jeff, the lady twitching and vibrating so much that she slides out of her
chair and onto the floor, still having convulsions.
"Well... I..." starts Ecoostik, shrugging. He eyes all the cops for a second,
then dashes passed all of them and runs out of the cafe. Jeff runs after him and the
camera man follows them.
Jeff follows Ecoostik through the night, the camera man shaking the
camera horribly as he follows them. Ecoostik, being as small as he his, runs incredibly
fast. Jeff begins to slow down his pace, breathing heavy. Finally, he takes time out to
rest, he looks to the ground and huffs and puffs while the camera man keeps up with
Ecoostik with no problem. Ecoostik looks back in shock as he finds the camera man not even
tired from the running. The camera man's shows no emotion on his face and he blankly keeps
after his target. Ecoostik climbs and heaves himself over a fence, then jumps over to the
other side. As soon as he hits the ground he starts running again, he looks back to the
camera man... the camera man does a simple hop over the fence and continues after Ecoostik
with the camera pointed straight at him. The camera man's face turns around to see where
Jeff went. Jeff is about a mile behind still catching his breath.
"Get 'im!" yells Jeff to the camera man, Jeff still huffing and puffing.
After a while of running, the camera man and Jeff end up in a suburban
backyard. The camera man has the camera closed in to the side of Jeff's face, all sweaty
and exhausted. Jeff looks around the backyard and while the camera is held close at his
face.
"*Huff**puff**huff**puff**huff*... We, uh *huff**puff* we know he's in here
somewhere." says Jeff, breathing heavy. He scouts around every area in the backyard,
and can't find him. Jeff and the camera man pass a nearby bush, that's where Ecoostik
hides. Ecoostik has his arms and legs streched out in the bush in strange contorting ways,
hoping to camouflage himself. His eyes are very wide, hoping he's blending in well with
the bush as Jeff and the camera man scout around.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((Meanwhile, at the 'Dr. Gero Rehab Center'...))
"You can do it this time Bulma... now, remember... will power is
the key!" says Doctor Gero, sitting at a small table across from Bulma. Bulma and Dr.
Gero are sitting in a small, cubical white room with a leather couch on one side and the
table in the center. There is also a big window behind them, where Androids 16, 17, and 18
are all in lab coats, jotting down notes onto their pads. Bulma has her hands, fiddling
with her fingers, ready for any test Dr. Gero does.
"...I'm ready, doctor..." says Bulma, taking in a deep breath.
"Okay now..." says Dr. Gero, his eyes remain on Bulma, and he slowly reaches for
something under the table. After he gets it, he whips it out onto the table with a thud.
It's a can of Freiza Beans! Bulma shrieks.
"AAAHHH! You said you'd take it out slowly this time! You said you'd do it slower!
You promised!!!" Cries Bulma, quivering and sweating as she looks at the can of
Freiza Beans.
"I know what I said! But to overcome your urges you must contain yourself
immediately!" says Dr. Gero in a loud controlling voice, trying to help Bulma realize
what he's doing is right. "Now remember Bulma, you DO NOT NEED THESE BEANS TO LIVE!
YOU DO NOT WANT THESE BEANS!" repeats Dr. Gero. Bulma takes a heavy sigh and stares
at the can.
"...I...I do not need these beans to live..."
"LOUDER!!! DO NOT LET THE BEANS CONTROL YOU!!! SHOW THEM WHO'S BOSS!!!" yells
Dr. Gero. Bulma begins crying again and blurts out the words.
"I DO NOT NEED THESE BEANS TO LIVE!!!" cries Bulma, her make-up running down her
face from the tears.
"Yes! That's it! Now remember... you do not WANT these beans either."
"I DO NOT WANT THESE BEANS!!!"
"Good! We're making progress. Look at the beans..." says Dr, Gero, opening the
can. He reveals the open can to Bulma. "...This food is blue... normal food is not
blue. It is a bunch of sloppy beans... sloppy beans are yucky and make you fart quite a
lot. They're blue, sloppy, and gascious. You say it now."
"They are blue... sloppy... and... and... delicious..."
"NO NO NO!!! AGAIN!!! THEY ARE BLUE, THEY ARE SLOPPY, AND THEY MAKE YOU FART!!!"
yells Dr. Gero to Bulma. Bulma cries again.
"BLUE SLOPPY AND GASCIOUS!!! BLUE SLOPPY AND GASCIOUS!!! BLUE SLOPPY AND
GASCIOUS!!!" she wails with her eyes closed, tears still running down her face. Dr.
Gero turns calm again.
"Very good, you're making good progress today. Say this over 10 times and you will be
healed." says Dr.Gero. Bulma nods.
"They are blue, sloppy, and gascious... blue, sloppy, and gascious... blue...
sloppy... and gascious... blue... s-sloppy... and... and..." stammers Bulma. Her eyes
are glassy and her lips quiver, staring at the open can of blue beans. A string of drool
runs down her lip, Dr. Gero raises an eyebrow.
"...Bulma? Say it... say it again..." encourages the doctor. Bulma stares at the
beans, her eyes widened...
TO BE CONTINUED...
<<That's right folks! You can expect another amazingly sick, twisted, crappy story
of Freiza Beans! I admit, this story moved way too slow... but look on the bright side,
Teletubbies! Everyone loves Teletubbies, except me, they scare me! Them and the horror of
me having sleepless nights trying to finish this story. Like my last story, I stayed up
every night to finish this garbage. I just want it to be over, I need food, and timothy
grass can kill mice... Dammit! I've stayed up so late again that I've stopped making
sense!>> -Steve